Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
