If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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