well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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