ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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