Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
