Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
