I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize