i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize