We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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