Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
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....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize