don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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