I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
