Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
