You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
