she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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