she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
