WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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