i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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