i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found your dick twin last night
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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