I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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