You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
