I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you made out with another girl for some wings
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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