Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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