I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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