He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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