I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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