It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
