This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
