you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
