it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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