Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize