You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
