oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
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Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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