Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
