its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
