Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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