The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
someone owes me an orgasm
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
