I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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