: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
