Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
