Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
