Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
