My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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