I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
