yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
