I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
