do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
