btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
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Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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