I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
