We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
