i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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