Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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