new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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