Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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