No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
