i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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