Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
