Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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