And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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