we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
