so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize