I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We're too hungover to prance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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