this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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