Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
